When I was a little girl, there was a travelling fair that would come to Staines, complete with all the rides, tombolas and candied apples that a child could imagine. I remember my family going on a rickety ride, and all of us being so scared, that my Dad started screaming expletives at the person operating the swing. “Stop the fucking machine,” he bellowed from above! The best thing about those fairs was winning a goldfish. Sometimes, we’d come home with five or six of them. Fish are the perfect first pet. Caring for fish gives children a manageable amount of responsibility. I fed our fish, talked to it, and cleaned its bowl with a toothbrush. Maybe even my own toothbrush. I’m pretty sure all my goldfish were called Marmalade.